The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty

FINAL REVIEW: «

WARNING: This is more of a rant than a review. If you don’t like reviews and rants, then you won’t like this. In my opinion, this is not a horror book. I gag just thinking about it being called one. It’s a “horror” book. Not a horror book.

You’re staying? Aren’t you sweet.

Where in the world do I begin with this review? No, seriously. How do I begin this review?

For those of you who know me well, you know I love good gothic horror classics and suspense stories that are full of witty dialogue and mystery. I also really appreciate good classic novels that makes the reader think and gets to know the characters. You all know I’m a fan of Yung and Freud…they’re both inspiring to me and I love reading about psychology and am NOT the one who can read a dumbed-down teeny-bop novel or series (I’m looking at you, Twilight and Divergent).

So then what crazed maniac snuck up behind me and put a knife to my throat threatening me he’d kill me on the spot if I didn’t read the Exorcist? What deranged demon crept into my sub-conscious and possessed me to pick up the Exorcist? What charity that was on the side of the road fundraising money for poor children in Africa and in return for a donation gave me a copy of the Exorcist?

The answer is nobody or nothing. Nobody threatened me or even gave me a suggestion to read it. You know why I decided to pick up a book about a vomiting, cursing twelve year-old girl who is just the most charming character in the world? Because I found out PAZUZU was in it.

Yes.

You heard correctly.

If you know me, you know I absolutely adore Mesopotamian mythology and culture and have been reading books about it like a starving creature. When I started reading about Assyria, I discovered this demon named Pazuzu, who looked terrifying yet had a benevolent job. Want to guess what that was? Protecting children and pregnant mothers from a demon named Lamashtu.

I found this fascinating. A demon that isn’t purely evil? That’s pretty awesome. So then I started reading about Pazuzu. He wasn’t exactly a saint nor a kind soul (he did after all bring famine)…but he protected children. Do now you’re wondering, what’s Pazuzu’s role in the Exorcist? You’re not gonna believe this…

…he’s the demon who possesses Regan this entire time.

THIS ISN’T FUNNY ANYMORE.

I know people are gonna correct me on this and say it’s the Devil. Well, guess what? IT’S NOT. You can go look up on the wiki page for this book or simply put in ‘Pazuzu the Exorcist” and see what comes up.

This enrages me so friggin’ much I can’t even describe it to you.

A DEMON. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO DESTROY EVIL DEMONS. AND PROTECT PREGNANT MOTHERS. AND CHILDREN. FROM LAMASHTU. AND OTHER DISEASES. IS POSESSING A FEMALE CHILD.

This is SO wrong on so many levels. I have no idea what Peter Blatty was thinking when he was choosing a demon. Why in the name of god didn’t he pick LAMASHTU!? That would have been a PERFECT CHOICE! Why would you choose a demon that’s supposed to PROTECT CHILDREN!?! WHO DOES THAT!? It’s like if you were writing a story about England during WW II and you made Winston Churchill a greedy anti-Semitic!

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Okay…okay… enough of my Pazuzu rant…now onto what I think of the book.<br><br>It sucks. It sucks. It sucks hard. I haven’t seen the movie but it’s the most predictable thing in the world and there is literally as part where the little girl is being possessed and her face is turning blue and her eyes have rolled in the back of her head and her face is bleeding and her tongue had grown about five inches and she has a deep, masculine voice yet the doctor who is checking her out diagnoses it as her being stressed from the bitter divorce between her mother and her father.

I’M DONE.

Never has a book made me feel more bitter and angry than this one! 0/10 This book is a friggin waste of time and would not have been made into a movie if Peter Blatty wasn’t a film director and producer. If you think I’m being too judgemental, that’s fine by me. It wasn’t just Pazuzu that sucked me into this. I lover horror novels. I thought this book would have me shivering under the blankets not allowing me to sleep. Not the case at ALL. I just hate this book so much I just cant–

never mind.

I’m off to finish ‘The Mysterious Stranger.

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